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A transition from life in seaside Santa Barbara to a future in vibrant Italy.
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- “Unexpected reunion: How I found my long lost Godparent(s)”
I always knew the names of my godparents, but I can’t recall what they look like. As I sit here writing, I’m having flashbacks to a photo album I might have. I think it contains pictures from my first birthday. I’ll need to look for it—maybe it’s in storage in the carport, or perhaps in my closet, though I suspect that’s where my baby book is.
My baby book came in handy recently when I finally discovered my exact birth time, which made a significant difference in my astrology charts. It turns out I was born an hour earlier than I thought, changing my moon and ascending signs. Everything makes more sense now.
Back to the story: I was baptized on March 12, 1973, at St. Raphael Catholic Church. My godparents were friends of my parents, who bowled together. My mom was 19 when I was born, and my father was 27. I don’t know much about their relationship except that it ended in a bitter divorce when I was seven and my sister was about three and a half. I believe my godparents were chosen because they were close friends at the time.
I used to think they were more my dad’s friends, which might explain why I haven’t seen or heard from them since I was a toddler. Discussing my dad with my mom has always been uncomfortable, so I’ve kept my feelings to myself. Over the years, and even after moving to Colorado, I’ve made peace with my father’s absence. I’ve come to understand that he did love me; he was just deeply affected by the hardships and experiences he faced. My mother raised my sister and me as a single parent in a town where it was extremely difficult to get by without much money.
I can’t recall if I thought about or asked about my godparents growing up. It just never seemed to cross my mind, I guess. Sometimes I heard others talk about their godparents, which would trigger a “Hey, I have godparents” thought. This was all before the internet, so all we had were phone books and operators to assist. It wasn’t as easy to find people as it is now. I sometimes miss those times. I remember hearing their names from time to time, just floating in the universe.
Every time we moved and packed up our lives, I would stumble upon my baby book, christening dress, and blanket. That might be why their names have been so present in my mind. We’ve moved about five times in the 26 years my husband and I have been together. Which brings me to how I found something from my godparents.
Another time, I’ll tell you the story of how our cat Doug came into our lives about 10 months ago. He’s the lead character in this current story, so I’ll give a quick introduction. Doug just turned 10 and is an orange cat. We adopted him from a former colleague. He has quirks like most orange cats do and is still adjusting to living in a new space. He mostly stays in the living room area and doesn’t like to come into the back bedrooms. He cautiously comes into our room and sniffs around, particularly at the bottom of my nightstand where I store books and other items. It was a little dusty and messy, and I honestly didn’t know what I had down there.
I decided to clean and organize the space, hoping Doug might feel more comfortable coming in. As I was cleaning, a card fell out. It was a card to my dad from Christmas, a few months before he passed. I had kept some of his paperwork, and I guess I considered this important. The card was addressed to my dad, and the return address bore the names I remembered as my godparents. I saw this as a sign. I tucked the card away for about two months, but kept it on my dresser, seeing it every time I passed.
Eventually, I sat down to make a connection. I did a little search online but didn’t find anything new. I did come across some phone numbers, but I chose to write a good old-fashioned letter instead. I typed it up, printed it out, addressed the envelope, and dropped it in my purse, finally mailing it a few days later. I eagerly awaited some kind of response, providing my phone number, email address, and social media contacts in case they used any of those platforms.
Finally about a week later maybe even less I was getting a call from a number in Montana. I was at work and couldn’t answer. I waited to see if a voicemail was left and lo and behold I saw the notification. I listened..
It was Richard my godfather who at this time was 81 I believe. He left a brief message about receiving my letter and if I wanted to I could call him back.
First thing after work and settled at home I laid on the couch and click on the call back button. I was excited to finally get to talk to the two people my parents thought would be good to support the my spiritual growth and faith, acting as a mentor and guide, while also offering emotional and practical support to both the myself and my parents. At least that was the definition I came across when asking google what the meaning of godparents was. I had a belief that if anything was to happen to the parents the godparents would become the guardians or assist any remaining parent along the child’s journey through life.
Back to the phone call… I can’t remember much as I am writing this almost a year after said conversation. What I do remember was the first thing Richard told me Ruth my godmother had passed almost 10 years prior of Alzheimer’s. That broke my heart.. Oh how I now wished I had written when I first stumbled upon it.. But it was not meant to be I guess. I am grateful Richard spent a good amount of time chatting with me and catching me up on their lives over the last almost 50 years since I had last seen them. They seemed like lovely people and had a nice life together along with children and grandchildren.
I believe a week or so later was the 10 year anniversary of Ruth’s passing and I sent a text to Richard with a kind message of remembrance and sent pictures of me from childhood to present. I had told him I remembered some photos of a birthday of mine and I know I had pictures of them. I did finally find those pictures but I only had the one above of me and Ruth.
I hope she is happy up in the universe that Richard and I were able to connect and I feel at peace and have closure on a small part of my life that took a big mental space in head all these years. I wish things had been different, I wish they had been a part of my life, I wish she lived longer, I wish many things but they are what they are and I feel I can close this chapter of my life story and feel it ended as it was meant to.
- “Origins Unraveled: Tracing My Story from Start to Now”
“Hey there, soulful companions!
As the weekend unfolds, I find myself reveling in the tranquility of a lazy Saturday afternoon. Today’s main agenda? Tackling the ever-dreaded laundry chore. Here in our abode, we’ve opted out of the on-site facilities, preferring instead to gather up our loads every couple of weeks or so and make a trip down to the local laundromat. It’s become somewhat of a ritual for us—a chance to turn a mundane task into a mini adventure.
We’ll load up 4-5 batches of laundry, then hit the town while the machines work their magic. There’s something oddly satisfying about wandering the streets of downtown later at night, a different experience depending on what block you are on. We’ll explore new alleys, maybe stumble upon a hidden gem , or simply soak in the sights and sounds of the city. People watching is a favorite and gives me inspiration for character creations in future artworks.
As the evening progresses, we’ll return to the laundromat, often it’s just us and the hum of the machines and the employees who keep it going. Folding becomes a relaxing activity, a chance to unwind and reflect on the day’s and weeks adventures. And as we carefully stack our freshly laundered garments into neat piles, we can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment—a small victory in the battle against household chores.
But the true reward comes the next day, as we seamlessly integrate our clean clothes back into our wardrobe. It’s a subtle reminder that even the simplest of tasks can be transformed into moments of connection, joy, and shared experience. So here’s to lazy Saturdays, to the beauty of routine, and to finding magic in the mundane.”
At the peak of the pandemic, I found myself retracing familiar paths back to my hometown—a move I never anticipated making permanent. Our journey began when we were both 30, newly married and eager for adventure. Setting off from our hometown, we initially settled a bit north in the picturesque town of San Luis Obispo. Those three years were idyllic, but the allure of unknown adventures beckoned.
Thus, we embarked on a new chapter, this time in Colorado. While we embraced homeownership, the call of California’s weather grew stronger with each passing season. A trip back to San Luis Obispo for my sister-in-law’s wedding sealed our fate—after four years, it was time to return to the Golden State.
Back in San Luis Obispo, where my husband’s parents had also settled in the beginning of our relationship, we reveled in the vibrant community life. Madonna Inn became our second home, where we danced the nights away, our spirits soaring until exhaustion set in. Seven blissful years passed before another dream tugged at our hearts.
Our passion for dancing led us to explore Los Angeles and its vibrant dance scene. Memories of dancing weekends in Pasadena during our early dating years fueled our desire to make a home there. Sierra Madre, nestled beside Pasadena, captured our hearts with its reminiscent charm of Santa Barbara’s Riviera.
In Sierra Madre, we found solace in a cozy apartment surrounded by conveniences and endless opportunities for adventure. But most importantly, we were within reach of the pulsating dance floors that ignited our souls.
Three years passed in this dance-filled paradise until the summer of the pandemic cast a shadow over our lives. Yet, amidst uncertainty, our journey stands as a testament to the power of following one’s dreams and finding home wherever the heart leads.
As we navigate the ever-changing landscape of life, one thing remains constant—our unwavering belief in the magic of following our hearts, even in the face of uncertainty.”
As June approaches, marking four years since our return, I find myself caught between the pull of distant adventures and the comfort of rediscovering the place we once called home. It’s a journey I never expected to take, yet here I am, navigating the twists and turns of life with newfound purpose and clarity.
Growing up in vastly different environments, my husband and I carry within us a tapestry of stories waiting to be unraveled—a journey I look forward to sharing. But for now, I wanted to indulge you with a glimpse into the backstory of our lives, a tale that unexpectedly led me to embrace the art of storytelling.
You see, I’ve always considered myself a numbers person, finding interest in the precision of equations and the logic of analysis. Writing, on the other hand, was a foreign language to me—a realm I never dared to explore until now. Yet, as I turned my focus away from the dance floor and towards my long-forgotten passions, something remarkable happened. Stories began to flow effortlessly, weaving their way through my mind and onto the page, a cathartic release of pent-up emotions and untold tales.
Through this process, I’ve discovered a form of therapy unlike any other—a journey of self-discovery and healing that has illuminated the darkest corners of my soul. With each word penned, I’ve found myself inching closer towards manifesting my deepest desires and visions, forging a path towards a future filled with hope and possibility.
As a new week dawns upon us, I feel a sense of renewal washing over me—a flicker of light amidst the shadows of uncertainty. It’s a feeling akin to a warm embrace, a gentle reminder that even in our darkest moments, there exists a glimmer of hope waiting to be embraced.
So here’s to the journey ahead, filled with blessings yet to be discovered and stories waiting to be told. Until we meet again, may your days be filled with light and joy.
With warmth and gratitude,
~Kooky~ - Navigating The Journey Of New Beginnings…
In the whirlwind of life’s twists and turns, my return home to Santa Barbara almost 4 years ago has been more of an unexpected adventure than a simple journey. The professional landscape I encountered upon my arrival has been nothing short of interesting, leading me to navigate through various work environments and situations. Reflecting on it now, it’s been quite a rollercoaster ride.
The job I am speaking about in this post I interviewed for I pursued amidst the chaos of packing up our apartment in Sierra Madre, nestled snugly next to Pasadena. I’ll delve into that story, along with others I’ve promised to share, once I’ve found my rhythm and consistency in translating the narratives swirling in my mind onto the blank canvas of my MacBook.
Returning to the tale at hand, First interview went great and I had secured a second interview and was essentially on the verge of clinching the job in the restaurant/hospitality industry. However, fate had other plans as the city began to shut down, rendering the company unable to onboard new hires.
While disappointing, I understood the circumstances and swiftly moved on to explore other opportunities. Yet, there was always a lingering thought in the back of my mind—the job that slipped through my fingers.
Despite encountering my fair share of shady employers and workplaces that flouted Covid protocols, I remained hopeful. One day, serendipity intervened as I stumbled upon the job posting for the very position I had once yearned for. It felt like a sign, and without hesitation, I submitted my application, fervently praying and consulting with my spirit guides for guidance.
I wasn’t unhappy where I was, I was bored and didn’t care for my supervisor, everyone else was lovely. It was by sheer chance I opened Indeed that day. And it disappeared instantly. I took that as a sign.
I won’t dwell on the shortcomings and negative experiences that followed, as I’ve since released that energy and embraced the power of moving forward. After giving it a solid six months, I made the conscious decision to prioritize my mental well-being and bid farewell to the toxicity that lingered in the air.
From the onset, it was evident that the dynamics of the workplace had shifted drastically since my initial encounter with it. With the key players gone and new forces at play, it was time to embark on a new chapter. And so, my journey of manifestation began anew, leading me to stumble upon my current path by sheer chance.
The opportunity that now lies before me feels like a perfect fit for where I am in life. It offers a sense of peace and tranquility, a stark contrast to the chaotic circus I left behind. As I navigate this fresh chapter, I’m already witnessing progress in other aspects of my life, signaling the dawn of a promising journey ahead.
While my new job offers the flexibility of remote work, I find solace in the pleasant office setting where I share a space with a delightful colleague. She exudes a calm demeanor, and our shared workspace provides the perfect balance between social interaction and the comforts of home. I intend to strike a harmonious blend of office days and remote work, allowing me the freedom to explore my surroundings while maintaining a productive routine.
Already, I’ve noticed a significant improvement in my mental well-being. It’s incredible how much our environment impacts our overall health—mind, body, and spirit. I’ve taken to incorporating more walks into my daily routine, embracing the rejuvenating effects of movement. While I’ve mostly been one for traditional gym workouts, I’ve gradually begun to establish a home workout routine that suits my preferences.
Reflecting on my past gym experiences, I realize that unstructured workouts have never truly resonated with me. However, the one obsession I had—spin class. I vividly recall eagerly rising at dawn on Saturdays for a spirited spin session. It was an exercise I genuinely enjoyed. I even considered certification.
As I contemplate my future fitness endeavors, I find myself veering away from conventional gym memberships. Instead, I envision a space that offers a more holistic approach to wellness—perhaps a spa-like gym where relaxation and rejuvenation are paramount.
I fondly reminisce about a wellness center in Goleta, nestled within the Calle Real Shopping Center, where indulgent body wraps and innovative exercise machines offered a unique fitness experience. It was a place of sanctuary, where self-care took precedence. While my fitness journey may evolve, I’m certain that any future endeavors will prioritize holistic well-being and personal enjoyment.
As I sit here, reflecting on the weekend that’s drawing to a close, I find myself filled with a sense of contentment and anticipation for the week ahead. The rain-soaked days may have kept me indoors, but they provided a much-needed opportunity to pause and attend to the little things. While plans to visit Ellwood and spend time with my baby niece were postponed, I embraced the chance to tidy up my space and reconnect with neglected hobbies.
As April unfolds with its unpredictable weather, I welcome the prospect of an extra day off in May, heralding the beginning of the summer holiday season. Though our adventures may remain somewhat subdued, the absence of early morning alarms brings a sense of liberation.
Looking ahead, I anticipate diving into new work projects and immersing myself in an art endeavor that promises to infuse my evenings with creativity. With spring temperatures beckoning, I envision leisurely scooter rides on the horizon, each outing an opportunity to capture moments of beauty through the lens of my camera.
As the evening wanes and I prepare to bid farewell to the weekend, I find solace in the soothing melodies of a lofi meditation playlist. It’s in these tranquil moments that I visualize the future I aspire to, grateful for the blessings already bestowed upon me and confident in the path that lies ahead. Guided by the whispers of the spirits and fueled by a desire to spread light to those in need, I embrace each day as it unfolds, nurturing my soul along the way.
Until our paths intersect once more, I extend wishes of wellness and freedom to all.
~Kooky~
- “Discovering Hidden Treasures: Unveiling the Charm of a Secret Oasis”
As the weather finally gave us a respite and the gentle touch of spring lingered in the air, my husband and I embarked on a spontaneous adventure. With no destination in mind except for a desire to stretch our legs and reconnect with nature, we set off on our journey. It was then that my husband remembered a little-known treasure tucked away in the San Roque area of Santa Barbara – Stevens Park.
Stevens Park, a childhood memory long forgotten, suddenly resurfaced in my mind. While I couldn’t recall visiting it often in my youth, it held a certain allure, perhaps frequented more during my teenage and young adult years as an escape from the confines of home. Despite its unassuming appearance, the park spans approximately 25 acres, offering more than meets the eye.
Nestled amidst the tranquil surroundings are a couple of hiking trails, a feature my husband seemed eager to explore. However, hiking has never quite been my forte. Despite my love for walking and exploring, inclines and rugged paths tend to leave me breathless and flushed. Memories of past attempts at hiking resurface, accompanied by visions of sunny, warm weather – conditions I’ve never quite thrived in. I’ve always preferred the embrace of a gloomy, overcast sky, with just a hint of sunshine peeking through. The temperate climate of Santa Barbara suits me perfectly, offering ideal conditions for outdoor enjoyment throughout the year. Even during the warmer months, the proximity of the beach, a mere two-minute drive from home, provides a refreshing escape from the heat.
As we ventured into Stevens Park, I found myself enchanted by its hidden beauty. Despite my aversion to hiking, I couldn’t help but appreciate the allure of the winding trails and lush foliage that surrounded us. With each step, I felt a renewed sense of connection to nature, a reminder of the tranquility and serenity that can be found in the most unexpected places.
Stevens Park may be tucked away from the bustling city streets, but its tranquil ambiance and natural beauty make it a true hidden gem in the heart of Santa Barbara. As we explored its winding paths and verdant landscapes, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for the opportunity to rediscover this cherished childhood memory and create new moments of joy and tranquility amidst the beauty of nature.
Despite our arrival close to closing time, the sun still hung high in the sky, its rays casting a warm glow over Stevens Park. The recent time change had granted us an extra hour of daylight, illuminating the park with a vibrant energy. As we entered, we found the park winding down with activity.
People strolled leisurely along the winding paths, their canine companions by their side, while others returned from their jaunts along the hiking trails, their faces flushed with exertion. Children dashed across the playground, laughter echoing through the air, squeezing in those final moments of play before the inevitable departure. Meanwhile, diligent parents gathered their belongings, preparing for the journey home, their voices filled with a mix of contentment and reluctance to leave this serene oasis behind.
Despite the imminent closing hour, there was a palpable sense of peace and joy among the park-goers, united by their shared appreciation for nature’s gifts. As we soaked in the sights and sounds around us, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for this fleeting moment of connection amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life. In Stevens Park, even as the day drew to a close, the spirit of wonderment and tranquility prevailed, leaving us with memories to cherish long after the sun had set.
Our exploration of Stevens Park was somewhat limited, as my recent struggles with back issues had left my knee feeling a bit tender and swollen. It was a gentle reminder that I needed to prioritize movement and activity in my daily routine. Nevertheless, even from our vantage point near the entrance, the park’s natural splendor was impossible to ignore.
The gentle flow of water, cascading over smooth rocks, filled the air with a soothing melody that seemed to echo through the trees. Their lush foliage, bathed in the golden light of the sun, provided a picturesque backdrop for our impromptu photo session. Each tree seemed to stand as a silent sentinel, basking in the warmth of the afternoon sun, their branches swaying gently in the breeze.
I was captivated by the beauty that surrounded us, eager to capture every fleeting moment on camera. Yet, try as I might, no photo or video could fully encapsulate the tranquility and serenity of that day. It was a reminder of nature’s boundless beauty, a reminder to savor each moment and embrace the simple joys that surround us.
As I sit down to pen these words, the glow of the recent full moon lingers in the night sky, casting its ethereal light upon the world below. This full moon, nestled in the sign of Libra, heralds a period of new beginnings and transformative change. While my life is currently awash with these winds of change, I’ll save the intricate details for future posts, allowing myself to fully embrace the unfolding journey that lies ahead.
In this moment, I find solace in the knowledge that the universe has a plan for me—a plan filled with boundless possibilities and untapped potential. Despite the uncertainties that may lie on the horizon, I choose to approach each day with open arms and a steadfast resolve. For I know that every obstacle I encounter is but a stepping stone on the path to greater fulfillment and self-discovery.
No matter what twists and turns life may throw my way, I take comfort in the fact that I’ve given my all and will continue to do so. Each challenge is an opportunity for growth, each setback a chance to rise even higher. As I continue to navigate this journey called life, I am filled with a sense of purpose and determination, fueled by a deep-seated love for all that life has to offer.
- “Renew, Recharge, Restart: Embracing New Energy and Beginnings”
As I lie in bed on this Sunday afternoon, the looming presence of Monday casts a shadow over my mind. Two days—a mere blink in time—feel insufficient for recuperation and attending to life’s demands. Night after night, I find myself drained by the relentless pace of work, leaving me with little energy for anything beyond retreating into solitude during my brief respite.
Yet, amid the encroaching anxiety, I remind myself to inhale deeply, allowing fleeting glimpses of tomorrow’s challenges to pass through my consciousness. I acknowledge the impending storm but refuse to let it engulf me entirely. My destiny, I realize, lies not in this moment of exhaustion but in the journey yet to unfold. Though the path ahead may seem daunting, the clarity of my aspirations and the reminders strewn across my mental landscape reassure me that hope endures, fueled by unwavering spirituality and resilience.
My progress, while steady, often feels sluggish as I navigate the maze of possibilities stretching before me. Ideas and concepts vie for attention, each promising a different path forward. Yet, amidst this cacophony of choices, I strive to maintain focus, mindful of the perils of distraction. Learning to harness the potential of this platform has been a journey in itself, its complexities occasionally daunting. Even my niece jests about my choice of the most challenging blogging site, with its enigmatic references to coding. Reflecting on her words, I can’t help but chuckle—I suppose there’s a certain irony in my journey, a longing to have delved into disciplines like coding that now offer the allure of remote work from the comfort of home.
Nevertheless, I remain undeterred, knowing that the effort I invest today will serve as the foundation for transforming my dreams into reality. With each passing day, my visions grow more vivid and attainable, infused with a newfound sense of energy and purpose.
I find solace in the gentle embrace of nature, where the warmth of the sun and the caress of the breeze rejuvenate my spirit. There’s a primal longing within me to reconnect with the earth, to feel the grass beneath my feet and the sand between my toes. In a conscious effort to nurture this connection, I’ve made it a habit to steal a few extra moments before work to visit the beach. There, amidst the rhythmic lullaby of the waves, I find sanctuary, allowing the ocean air to soothe my mind and invigorate my body.
As I stroll along the shoreline, capturing fleeting moments through photographs and videos, I am reminded of the life I yearn to lead—a life where time is not a tyrant, but a companion to be savored. A life where I can immerse myself in the embrace of Mother Nature, allowing my mind, body, and spirit to unfold at their own pace, unfettered by the constraints of obligation or haste.
With the spring equinox just around the corner, the weekend graced us with glorious weather—a perfect backdrop for the long-awaited reunion with my niece. After seven months abroad, she returned to the USA, settling in Santa Barbara to navigate the intricacies of visa paperwork.
As she stepped back onto familiar soil, our joyous reunion was momentarily overshadowed by the specter of family drama lurking in the background. Yet, with a shared understanding that some things lie beyond our control, we chose to set aside those tensions for the time being. Family dynamics are a labyrinth of complexities, a terrain I prefer not to traverse in depth. Instead, I find solace in the occasional anecdote about the newest family addition, a welcome distraction from the intricacies of familial relationships.
Before I was momentarily diverted by the family drama, my thoughts drifted towards the approaching spring equinox and the palpable shift in energy it heralds. Emerging from the depths of winter, which seemed particularly drenched this year, I couldn’t help but reflect on the peculiarities of Southern California’s rainy season.
While I’ve always held a fondness for the rain, there’s something nostalgic about the old SoCal rains, sparse yet poignant in their arrival. The recent deluge, though necessary for our parched landscape, weighed heavily on my spirits. There’s a certain melancholy that accompanies prolonged periods of rain—a sense of being enveloped by a dementor-like presence, draining the very essence of one’s soul.
Of course, not everyone is affected in the same way; for some, it’s merely another wet day. Yet, for me, the incessant rain casts a shadow over everyday life, impeding the usual flow of activities. Still, amidst the gloom, there were moments of joy found in braving the elements, embarking on misty walks that felt like voyages into the unknown.
Despite its hindrances, the rain serves as a reminder of nature’s rhythms, its ebb and flow mirroring the cyclical nature of existence. And as we inch closer to the spring equinox, I find solace in the promise of renewal and the emergence of brighter days ahead.
The gradual lengthening of daylight hours brings a sense of renewal, infusing the night with a newfound vitality. With each passing day, it feels as though we’re granted a little extra time to nourish our spirits, to embark on journeys of self-discovery and growth.
As the evening extends its embrace, I eagerly anticipate the changes that lie ahead, knowing that they will ultimately enrich my life in ways both profound and meaningful. With more daylight at my disposal, I find myself drawn to creative pursuits—dabbling in watercolors, capturing fleeting moments on camera during leisurely scooter rides after work.
The night becomes an invitation to wander, to explore the hidden depths of the world around me. Whether it’s a quiet stroll under the stars or a day spent basking in the sun’s warm embrace at the beach, I’m attuned to the subtle messages whispered by the universe.
In these moments of serenity, I find solace and inspiration, allowing my creativity to flow freely as I swing on the swings, observing the world with a childlike wonder. With each brushstroke and shutter click, I am reminded of the beauty that surrounds us, and the infinite possibilities that await in the embrace of each new day.
May the week ahead also be filled with abundance, peace, and happiness for you as well. Let’s embrace the opportunities and challenges it brings with a sense of gratitude and optimism. Here’s to a fulfilling and joyous week ahead!
Until the next time
Kooky
